Yes, I am going there. If you do not care to know intimate moments of my husband and my sex life then skip this blog post.
After delivering your baby, you have six weeks before you can have sex or as a suggestion if you don’t frequent a doctor. This is so your organs can go back in place and the parts of your vagina can heal after birth.
When that six weeks approaches, you may be getting anxious about having sex again because you are afraid it will hurt, you just aren’t ready, or you aren’t comfortable with your new body yet. No one is demanding that you have to start back at six weeks either! Don’t rush.
sex may feel foreign to you
You may be fine with not having sex and that is okay. Two things can happen while breastfeeding. One – you may get the emotional and physical intimacy needs from breastfeeding where your sex drive decreases. Two – you may get aroused while breastfeeding and crave your partner.
Your breasts may be sensitive. You may not like the feeling of your breasts being played with because your nipple doesn’t have the same feeling like it did when being played with before. Feeling your nipple played with instead of pulled on by a baby all day may feel strange at first but the excitement will strike again, promise; keep at it!
This moment and your partner may even feel foreign to you. How is that possible? Well, it has been six weeks or even longer if you didn’t enjoy sex during pregnancy. When you do decide to have sex again, I want you to take your mind off your leaky breasts.
What Other Women are Saying
Very early on, I couldn’t handle a whole lot, because they were sensitive and didn’t feel particularly sexy when it came down to them at that time. So I would wear a lacy bra or something to keep them from leaking and make me feel a little sexier.
Mine were off limits during breastfeeding & even for several months after I stopped. Not because I was concerned about leaking or anything, it just felt like they were reserved for only our baby during that time, & it did take quite a while for me to feel comfortable with my man touching them again in any intimate way.
In the past they werent off limits really…but more often than not, it ruined the mood if he grabbed them. Not because it upset me, but because he would end up sprayed with breastmilk
learn your husband again
Get in the moment. Learn your husband. I bet this time around, you may learn more about your husband than you did the first time. You may even find he thinks your breast milk is sexy. I mean this is a part of the woman he loves which feeds his child. Trust me on that one. It’s actually a fetish for some men and women! I had no idea until I was researching to see if anyone else felt awkward with their milk coming in during sex.
After having our second son, we were in the moment and my breasts started leaking. I was so embarrassed that I quickly put my bra back on. James laughed, I laughed and we continued. Almost every time since, if my milk starts coming in I would still cover myself up. It felt weird running down my body. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago that I got comfortable. We are nine months in from having our second breastfed baby so that is saying something.
four big tips to be comfortable
- Let it flow and be in the moment. Focus on the rest of your body and what is happening.
- It’s new territory and your husband is trying to learn it too. Let him and watch what he does.
- Cover up your top half during sex at least til you are comfortable.
- Have sex right after feeding your baby or pumping instead of when it is close to feeding time. You shouldn’t leak (until you climax that is).
Breast milk is natural! If you just can’t handle the thought of it leaking down your body, the shower works too.
For any dads wondering, my husband says it’s sweet.
This blog post is intended for informational and educational purposes only and does not serve as medical advice, a basis for diagnosis, or recommendation of treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or health concern. The information provided is intended to support you in your breastfeeding and postpartum journey from other moms and their partners.